Comments on: why I hate the phone http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/ life, work, geekery, and assorted ramblings Sun, 06 Jul 2008 11:25:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: Mike http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-3287 Mike Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:09:33 +0000 http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-3287 Thanks for the insight. It stinks to be a single introverted man looking for dates. With "tradition" dictating that the man has to make the moves it poses a real challenge. I dread those "get to know you" calls when I'm better hanging in person. So when I end up with a girl I usually try to make the most of it because I get drain from the chase. It's really refreshing when a woman makes the move. It only makes me wonder: "how to loners know each other." If anybody has some suggestion I'd appreciate it. Thanks for the insight. It stinks to be a single introverted man looking for dates. With “tradition” dictating that the man has to make the moves it poses a real challenge. I dread those “get to know you” calls when I’m better hanging in person. So when I end up with a girl I usually try to make the most of it because I get drain from the chase. It’s really refreshing when a woman makes the move. It only makes me wonder: “how to loners know each other.” If anybody has some suggestion I’d appreciate it.

]]> By: Michelle http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-3229 Michelle Mon, 26 May 2008 13:42:31 +0000 http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-3229 Bob, you are a GENIOUS! I feel exactly the way you feel and now I have published proof that I'm not the ONLY one who hates the phone ha ha! Now I actually have words that I can send to my family so maybe they'll understand me a little better! Thanks sooo much for this post! Michelle in Tampa Bob,
you are a GENIOUS! I feel exactly the way you feel and now I have published proof that I’m not the ONLY one who hates the phone ha ha! Now I actually have words that I can send to my family so maybe they’ll understand me a little better!

Thanks sooo much for this post!
Michelle in Tampa

]]> By: Scott http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-3162 Scott Thu, 13 Mar 2008 16:30:34 +0000 http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-3162 Glad I am not alone. I am self-employed and while I do put a phone number on my site and business cards, thankfully 99% of my transactions are over email/IM. If I don't know who is calling, I let it go to voicemail, and if I do know who is calling, but not sure what it's about, I will let it go to voicemail. Not sure if it's just be introverted or fear of not being able to "think on my feet" and being "brain dead" for a moment or two. I am sure I have lost business because of this issue, I'd like to "deal with it", many calls I get don't leave voicemail and that pretty much means, they are lost customers. I have less issues calling people, Pizza, Dr Appts, things that I am comfortable with... but if someone else did them for me, I would not complain. I don't like calling people I know (friends or family) out of the blue for chit-chat, but would only call for something urgent (ie email could take too long) or I know they wouldn't get it. I have gotten into an issue with my Father-in-law, I send him emails, he calls me in return. He hates emails, I hate phones. I send his calls to voicemail like everyone else. We end up playing phone tag. We have discussed this issue and I figure I will set aside my phone issue when dealing with him, cause I know he is more stubborn than I am. I hate listening to voicemail too. Especially if it was from someone I didn't know. I don't want to have to act or feel responsible for avoiding them. If I haven't heard the VM, then I can claim I didn't get it for x period of time. Do you believe I was a radio DJ once? Thankfully, not in a "extroverted" station. :) Glad I am not alone. I am self-employed and while I do put a phone number on my site and business cards, thankfully 99% of my transactions are over email/IM. If I don’t know who is calling, I let it go to voicemail, and if I do know who is calling, but not sure what it’s about, I will let it go to voicemail. Not sure if it’s just be introverted or fear of not being able to “think on my feet” and being “brain dead” for a moment or two.

I am sure I have lost business because of this issue, I’d like to “deal with it”, many calls I get don’t leave voicemail and that pretty much means, they are lost customers.

I have less issues calling people, Pizza, Dr Appts, things that I am comfortable with… but if someone else did them for me, I would not complain. I don’t like calling people I know (friends or family) out of the blue for chit-chat, but would only call for something urgent (ie email could take too long) or I know they wouldn’t get it.

I have gotten into an issue with my Father-in-law, I send him emails, he calls me in return. He hates emails, I hate phones. I send his calls to voicemail like everyone else. We end up playing phone tag. We have discussed this issue and I figure I will set aside my phone issue when dealing with him, cause I know he is more stubborn than I am.

I hate listening to voicemail too. Especially if it was from someone I didn’t know. I don’t want to have to act or feel responsible for avoiding them. If I haven’t heard the VM, then I can claim I didn’t get it for x period of time.

Do you believe I was a radio DJ once? Thankfully, not in a “extroverted” station. :)

]]> By: Bob Torres / How I Get Things Done (my productivity setup) http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-3126 Bob Torres / How I Get Things Done (my productivity setup) Mon, 03 Mar 2008 02:54:17 +0000 http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-3126 [...] GrandCentral for convenient voicemail and control over the phone (which, as some of you may recall, I dislike), and everything falls into place [...] […] GrandCentral for convenient voicemail and control over the phone (which, as some of you may recall, I dislike), and everything falls into place […]

]]> By: Melanie Lange http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-3005 Melanie Lange Thu, 03 Jan 2008 03:35:17 +0000 http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-3005 wow. i have felt so horrible for the longest time because i just can't seem to get it through people's (especially my close friends and family) heads that i love them and care about them but can't stand talking on the phone! i have had to resort to lying, ignoring people, whatever, and they get so upset because they can't understand any kind of explanation i can give on it. it's really annoying with one of my friends because once i answer the phone one time in months, she's back to calling me every night and wanting to talk for an hour with her kids in the background. and i agree as well with the comment above about not understanding the idea of "chit chat"...i must say, i have to read this book now, because it makes me feel great that there is a logical explanation for this behavior *other than avoidance* and that other people feel the same way. i must say that most of this article is EXACTLY how i feel and it is such a relief to know that i'm not alone. thank you so much! wow. i have felt so horrible for the longest time because i just can’t seem to get it through people’s (especially my close friends and family) heads that i love them and care about them but can’t stand talking on the phone! i have had to resort to lying, ignoring people, whatever, and they get so upset because they can’t understand any kind of explanation i can give on it. it’s really annoying with one of my friends because once i answer the phone one time in months, she’s back to calling me every night and wanting to talk for an hour with her kids in the background.
and i agree as well with the comment above about not understanding the idea of “chit chat”…i must say, i have to read this book now, because it makes me feel great that there is a logical explanation for this behavior *other than avoidance* and that other people feel the same way.
i must say that most of this article is EXACTLY how i feel and it is such a relief to know that i’m not alone. thank you so much!

]]> By: Dude, He's Talking about Me « The Wingèd Man http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-1137 Dude, He's Talking about Me « The Wingèd Man Thu, 03 May 2007 19:02:12 +0000 http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-1137 [...] May 3, 2007 in Uncategorized Bob Torres / why I hate the phone [...] […] May 3, 2007 in Uncategorized Bob Torres / why I hate the phone […]

]]> By: Tijmetje http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-1034 Tijmetje Fri, 20 Apr 2007 13:07:22 +0000 http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-1034 Wow, I didn't know there were so many fellow phone-haters. I can deal with them if I need to, but I prefer to avoid it if at all possible, especially if there are other people around (I made my boyfriend leave the room when I left you two that voicemail). Luckily my (rather extraverted) boyfriends doesn't care for phones (especially the mobile variety) either, so he's not at all bothered by the lack of phonecalls. Count me among the ones who were surprised by you being introverted. Those books sound interesting. My library has the (translated. Damn!) verison of The Introvert Advantage, but there's no mention of Party of One. Wow, I didn’t know there were so many fellow phone-haters.
I can deal with them if I need to, but I prefer to avoid it if at all possible, especially if there are other people around (I made my boyfriend leave the room when I left you two that voicemail).

Luckily my (rather extraverted) boyfriends doesn’t care for phones (especially the mobile variety) either, so he’s not at all bothered by the lack of phonecalls.

Count me among the ones who were surprised by you being introverted.
Those books sound interesting. My library has the (translated. Damn!) verison of The Introvert Advantage, but there’s no mention of Party of One.

]]> By: Deb http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-963 Deb Mon, 16 Apr 2007 11:42:08 +0000 http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-963 I'm not an introvert (in the sense that I'm energized by being around people, to a point) but I hate the phone. I prefer texting, email, etc. I hate answering the phone even when I know who is calling and want to talk to them, I have to force myself to make calls that have to be made, and will go out of my way to get information online even if the easiest and fastest way would be on the phone. But once I'm on the phone, I can talk to people for hours. So I don't know what that means. Personally I think it is a carry-over from my childhood shyness. There is no way I could be a teacher or have a job where I had to talk in front of people all the time. Bob, you actually come across as intense and energetic to me in person! I think it was about as I would have expected, based on your podcasts. And I agree about loud bars and too-crowded places. I’m not an introvert (in the sense that I’m energized by being around people, to a point) but I hate the phone. I prefer texting, email, etc. I hate answering the phone even when I know who is calling and want to talk to them, I have to force myself to make calls that have to be made, and will go out of my way to get information online even if the easiest and fastest way would be on the phone. But once I’m on the phone, I can talk to people for hours. So I don’t know what that means. Personally I think it is a carry-over from my childhood shyness. There is no way I could be a teacher or have a job where I had to talk in front of people all the time.

Bob, you actually come across as intense and energetic to me in person! I think it was about as I would have expected, based on your podcasts. And I agree about loud bars and too-crowded places.

]]> By: Jerky http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-962 Jerky Mon, 16 Apr 2007 10:09:46 +0000 http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-962 Hey bob, that's kind of a surprise. I listened to a lot of your podcast and you just don't seem like an introvert. But the "performing" theory makes a lot of sense. I'm an introvert too and not very good at socializing... however I play in a band and I have no problems performing on stage in front of an audience, singing, playing guitar and making jokes between songs. It's like a different personality I pull out... seems to be the same pattern. Hey bob, that’s kind of a surprise. I listened to a lot of your podcast and you just don’t seem like an introvert. But the “performing” theory makes a lot of sense. I’m an introvert too and not very good at socializing… however I play in a band and I have no problems performing on stage in front of an audience, singing, playing guitar and making jokes between songs. It’s like a different personality I pull out… seems to be the same pattern.

]]> By: Heather http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-959 Heather Sun, 15 Apr 2007 21:26:59 +0000 http://www.bobtorres.net/2007/04/13/why-i-hate-the-phone/#comment-959 I'm glad to see other phone-phobes. Hilariously, I spend all day answering the phone and making calls, and it's draining. I rarily return or even listen to voicemails at home, and if pressed into talking to someone I try to end it as soon as possible. IM and email have been wonderful for my social life in that I never have to call anyone. I first got a cell phone while in Ireland so I could text people to make plans and avoid actually calling anyone. I think my friends there were phonephobic too. As for kids in college being on a leash - I don't know. I had to set boundaries with my mother. She could email or IM as much as she wanted, but she couldn't expect a lengthy reply. If my away msg changed every third day she could just assume I was alive and not worry about it. I couldn't imagine actually having answered every email or phonecall. *shudder* I’m glad to see other phone-phobes. Hilariously, I spend all day answering the phone and making calls, and it’s draining. I rarily return or even listen to voicemails at home, and if pressed into talking to someone I try to end it as soon as possible. IM and email have been wonderful for my social life in that I never have to call anyone. I first got a cell phone while in Ireland so I could text people to make plans and avoid actually calling anyone. I think my friends there were phonephobic too.

As for kids in college being on a leash - I don’t know. I had to set boundaries with my mother. She could email or IM as much as she wanted, but she couldn’t expect a lengthy reply. If my away msg changed every third day she could just assume I was alive and not worry about it. I couldn’t imagine actually having answered every email or phonecall. *shudder*

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